Slices Tried
Classic pepperoni, no surprises. Solid execution of a slice that has nowhere to hide. The sauce edges toward sweet — more than it should — and the crust has more flop than structure. What it's supposed to be, nothing more.
Pepperoni and hot honey — a combination that works better than it has any right to. The sauce is the best on the menu: bright and balanced against the heat. The crust lets it down: rock solid and crispy on the top half, completely floppy below. Hard to eat with your hands past the midpoint.
Solid foundation — the crust is decent, the cheese works — but the sausage doesn't deliver the punch it promises. Sauce is fine without being interesting. A reliable slice that doesn't quite hit the ceiling.
Fresh mozzarella, garlic, olive oil. The simplest slice on the menu and the one that earns the most. Generous with cheese — a rarity here — and the garlic is dialed exactly right. The one slice worth coming back for specifically.
Unremarkable but honest. A plain slice that does its job without asking for your attention. Rare to find a truly great cheese slice anywhere — this one is decent, which at this price point is enough.
Pizza Scoring
| Criterion | Weight | Score | Weighted |
|---|---|---|---|
| Dough | 25% | 1.63 | |
| Sauce | 20% | 1.50 | |
| Cheese | 20% | 1.40 | |
| Bake | 15% | 1.05 | |
| Overall Balance | 20% | 1.50 | |
| Pizza Score | 7.08 |
Note: Scored as individual slices. The Mootz pulls the average up; the crust structure pulls it down.
The Verdict
Paulie Gee's is not a destination. It is not trying to be. What it is: a legitimate neighborhood slice shop with a chaotic, unapologetic 1980s interior, honest prices, and a couple of slices worth going out of your way for. The Mootz is the move — simple, generous with cheese, garlic dialed right. The Hellboy earns its name on flavor. The crust flops more than it should across the board, and the cheese-to-topping ratio is stingy on most slices. None of that matters much at four dollars a slice. The best value on this list by a distance. If you live three blocks away, you are lucky. If you don't, the Mootz alone might justify the trip.
"Order the Mootz. Grab a Hellboy if you want heat. Bring cash and don't expect it to be quiet."